How Does a Doula Space Out Due Dates?
-
Kaely Harrod 00:04
Welcome to doula Tips and Tips. This podcast is a place where we answer one question about doula work, both to support you and to help you support your clients. I'm Kaely Harrod. I've been supporting families in this perinatal space since my oldest was born 12 nearly 13 years ago. I am a birth and postpartum doula childbirth educator, La Leche League Leader and a doula coach. I love guiding and supporting doulas as they work out their doula business, it is a tremendous joy to be trusted in this way. Thank you for joining us on this journey. So today's episode is following last episode talking about setting yourself up in the case of a baby race and or trying to avoid that, right. So we're thinking for the purpose of this episode about spacing due dates. So the official question I'm asking is how does a doula space out due dates to help minimize the prevalence of baby races? Now, again, a baby race is what I affectionately call two babies coming on the same day, I have had a few of these now, at one point in my career, I was like, Oh, I've only one time ever have this. And I think just bragging about that too much. We've made it happen a ton in the last 12 months. And so I no longer brag I have a nice, a nice large slice of humble pie now in this particular environment, and I am like sometimes people need backups. And that is my current perspective, this situation. So what it looks like to spaced out due dates is a few different things. So I want to give you kind of some nuance here, and help you think through what might look good and helpful and consistent for your business. Now, one thing to consider is how many clients you're going to have at all right, like, let's say, you're thinking, Okay, I'm going to start out with like two clients a month, right? Well, then, in general, try to have a couple of weeks between those due dates, okay. Now, there is not a perfect way to do this, there is absolutely not a way to guarantee that babies do not overlap, because babies come early babies come late. And there's just no way to know in advance when that is going to happen. Okay, so first, I want to just validate the fact that you don't control this, your pregnant clients do not control this. We don't have a warning almost ever when a baby is coming. That's just part of this life. Okay? Now, if you need to do some, like deep breathing and affirmation and mantras around that, by all means, please do that. I don't know a single doula who doesn't have a moment of panic around the possibility of two babies coming at once, some time each year, right. So it's not something that we're all worried about very frequently. But there are times when we're like, for the love of all good things. I think all three of these babies are going to come today. And it doesn't mean it always plays out like that, it might be something that we're worried about. And then it doesn't actually happen. But there are times when babies decide to come, I have had a whole 12 months of one baby coming in the month. They are not due this whole year. And I can't tell you why that is there is no rhyme or reason to it. But it is a new trend. In my current doula life, that is just a thing I've come to expect at this point. Okay. Now, if you're thinking, Okay, I'm going to have like two to three people do in any given month, I would recommend spacing those due dates out as much as you can. Now think about the fact that a baby is technically a pregnancy is full term at 3738 weeks, early per full term at 37, full term at 38. And then up to 42. Someone could be pregnant. Now there are scenarios, of course, where someone knows in advance, they're going to be induced by a certain day because of a medical condition or because of something with the baby or something like that. That is something to factor in, if you know that in advance. But oftentimes, you don't know that in advance. So don't worry about needing to make sure you know that because it's not something you're going to always know. Okay. Now as things go, you'll get a sense of what as you kind of go in this business. I mean, you'll get a sense of what your personal sort of comfort zone is, in terms of having due date spacing. I know some doulas who feel really great about having people do really close to each other because they're like, well, that feels to me like the least likely scenario of people coming at the same time, where other doulas are like oh no, no I do not want two people do on the same week, because that will completely stress me out. And I can't handle that stress over and over. So I give you that spectrum because I want to normalize the fact that you're going to have to give yourself some time in this work to figure out where you land on that spectrum. And that is normal. And that is okay. And it's even necessary, I would argue, because part of figuring out what this work looks like for you, is giving yourself space to experience it. And then to say, okay, based on my experience, now, I want to do this, or I want to do that, or this work looks like this for me. So there is some space here, that's going to have to be that experimenting kind of time. On the flip side, some people just decide from the get go, they're only going to have one person do in a month. Now, I would still emphasize to not look at the calendar months, but instead look at like a 12 week rain or four week range, 12 weeks, that's not a month, that's three months. And so look at like, let's say you have someone due on May 10. Right, then having someone do also on June 1 is not a month apart. Now that's really close to a month apart. But it's not a month, if you have someone do like may 20, and someone do on June 1, that's not going to be a very big space between those two births, probably. Now, if you're thinking about like, your goal is just like I want 12 People who have a birth in a 12 month period, then I would really try to space those due dates three to four weeks apart. So that you have not only the the presence of mind and the peace of mind, to know that they potentially have some space between them, but also so that your body can recover from those births. And you can kind of be ready for the next person who's do before you sort of like start to burn yourself out because you're going to so many births in a row. Okay. So um, so I want you to think that through some and also kind of start to imagine, again, for you know, the millions time on this podcast or to imagine what you want this work to look like for you. Because the beautiful, wonderful, amazing thing about owning your own business, and working for yourself is that you have so much freedom to make this look a way that you want it to look. But in order to do that, you need to be really intentional about setting it up in a way that serves you well. Okay, so I just am going to infinitely continue to emphasize this because it matters so much. And I want you to really hear this and take it home and really live this out. And so I will continue singing that message from the rooftops for as long as I have this beautiful podcast. And also, I'm willing and happy to encourage you in that reality as often as you need because it is something that we all need to be reminded of. Okay. Now stay tuned for next week because you are officially getting those two episodes that I mentioned about copywriting and your website, and about branding and color palettes and all of that. I'm super pumped for you to hear those two amazing resources and some of the information that I am not an expert in that they can teach you so much awesome stuff about so stay tuned for those two episodes. If you have other questions that you would like to have answered on this podcast. Please touch base with me on Instagram at Herat doula, send me a quick message. Connect with me there so that we can have a conversation I can get to know you a little bit and I can add your question to the list of podcast episodes coming up. Okay. Until next week, I wish you well informed consent filled doula experiences.
Kaely Harrod 09:18
Thanks for joining us for this episode of the doula Tips and Tips podcast. If you learned something today or had an aha moment we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us at Herat doula, so we can celebrate alongside you. If you found this podcast helpful. We would so appreciate you taking a second to leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast app that helps other doulas find us as we do this work together. This podcast is intended as educational and entertainment it is not medical advice or business advice. Please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around
A baby race is what I affectionately call two babies coming on the same day. Today’s episode is a continuation of the last episode about planning for possible baby races and babies getting all mixed up together. Spacing out due dates is one way doulas help to avoid this situation, but it’s not entirely avoidable.
How you space due dates is one thing, but landing on what makes you most comfortable with due dates may be something you figure out with time. Some doulas space by having a limit of how many people are due a month and others space by time between due dates themselves.
One thing I’ve decided over the years is to never have more than 3 babies due in a 4 week period. Does this keep all baby races from happening? Nope. It sure does not, but it does minimize it a bit and gives me some peace of mind and a rest between at least some births.
Key Takeaways:
Spacing due dates is not a perfect science
You have to land on what makes you most comfortable as you work
It’s important to have a good system of backup regardless of what space you have!
Check out the last episode, episode 122 to hear the beginning of this conversation!
CONNECT with Kaely on TikTok or Instagram
https://www.tiktok.com/@doulacoach
https://www.instagram.com/Harroddoula/
If you like this episode, don't forget to share it to your Instagram stories and tag me @harroddoula
Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class
Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay
