What Do Partners and Fathers Learn at Childbirth Classes?
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Kaely Harrod 0:00
Hello and welcome back to Kaely Daily. Today's question is what do partners and fathers learn at childbirth classes? Welcome back to Kaely daily, the bi weekly podcast about all things doula Tips and Tits, where we answer one question about pregnancy, labor, postpartum, or lactation, in order to have your journey in this parenting world be just a little bit more informed and filled with consent. Hello, welcome back. I'm Kaely Harrod, your host and educator and doula, etc. Here on the Kaely Daily podcast, I am diving into another childbirth question today, we're starting to wrap up this series all about childbirth education. And this question is for partners father's support people. So the plus one and a laboring scenario, right, or plus two plus three, depending on how many folks you can have with you. But oftentimes, I get asked, what is the benefit of a childbirth class, to the person who's they're supporting, but not in labor? Right. And I think there are lots of benefits, but I'm going to touch on four of them today. So the first one is, what is normal?
Kaely Harrod 1:21
I think it's really important, both for just the practical knowledge also for, like, knowing what to expect, and for what good support and things like that, to understand what's happening in labor, and what is normal. Oftentimes, we have kind of a baseline idea about labor based on movies or other people's experiences or whatever. And those ideas are oftentimes incorrect. I'm sure you're not surprised to hear me say that. And so one of the big benefits is understanding what's actually happening, what is normal, and how to, like, kind of navigate that with your partner, right, but also to not be anxious and surprised yourself as things happen. The second is technical support, so and support techniques, right? So like, let's say, someone says, like, oh, you should encourage your partner, well, what does that look like? And how and when do you do that? And maybe, you know, that, like some kinds of massage and breathing are good, but which kinds? And when do you use them? And what do you do, if you use one, and then your partners are taking it right. Um, so that is, should be a part of most childbirth classes that you're learning some techniques that you can employ in order to be a really helpful and beneficial support person.
Kaely Harrod 2:51
A third is logistics. So oftentimes, a support person is the person who's like, calling the doctor or calling the midwife team to come over or, you know, handling some sort of logistics getting a person from their home to their hospital or their birth center, right. So those those logistics of like, in the middle of labor kind of thing that fall on the partner, are something that you should learn about in childbirth, Ed, you should learn about how to know that it's time when to go in how to go in maybe some techniques for the car ride, right? At what point do you call in your midwives if you're having a home birth, but that kind of like logistical stuff like parking, and triage, and all of that, that is kind of a responsibility that falls on the partners, that is a super helpful part of childbirth, Ed. And then the third thing, I think, are the fourth, I can't keep track of my numbers. The fourth thing I think is very important, is having some empathy. Because I think what we can often do, in a scenario that we haven't experienced, and that's new to us, is actually not have empathy for what's going on or assume a person's like, being overly dramatic or unhelpful. uncompassionate or uncompassionate. That is not a word.
Kaely Harrod 4:23
That's going to bug me I'm gonna have to look that up now. I'm someone who's just not being considerate. Right. And so that I think, is a part of childbirth education, and that if you understand it's normal, after childbirth, to be really weepy for like a couple of weeks, right? Or even like a few days, depending on the person, then if that happens, you're gonna have a lot more compassion and understanding for your partner in that moment right now, there are some classes that are specifically designed I and for partners, I have a partner prep mini class that is just partners like, here's, here's what you should know and do during pregnancy. Here's what you should know and do during birth and labor. Here's what you should know and do during postpartum, very short and sweet, probably like 15 to 20 minutes each section. So like, super easy to consume, my clients who have taken that class are like, I listened to it, like it's a podcast. And I just like, pop my earphones in and listen to the thing. And then I take notes on it, and it makes me about our support person, you know, and so, so that's an option.
Kaely Harrod 5:41
There are other classes like that, that are specifically like geared towards the plus one or the support person, the partner, I think it's really important that you also support yourself as the plus one. And so hopefully, a childbirth class should give you space to say like, Okay, if we need food for the experience, right, how, what food do I need? And how do I plan for my own needs, in the midst of labor and delivery, while not taking away from the fact that really, my partner is the one doing this crazy hard work, but also recognizing that like, we as a family are going to have a newborn at the end of this. And I need to be well prepared for that. I think we also sometimes downplay the transition that a partner takes during a birth, even if they're not the parent, like a co parent in this scenario, but especially if they are a co parent in this scenario, it's a big deal for them to be like ushering in this arrival of a new member of their family. And so I think that like having some space for that processing for a support person as well, but also to understand that that's normal. And that it's an adjustment for the whole family, not just the person who's giving birth, I think can go a long way for giving you compassion towards yourself. So So those are kind of like my four top reasons, I think that partners really benefit from a childbirth class, I always recommend taking a class together. So I think having a class that is you're both taking the same thing and kind of working through it is really, really, really helpful in terms of being on the same page.
Kaely Harrod 7:29
But also these four things that I mentioned, I would want a partner to know the same sort of things that their pregnant partner knows. Okay, so we're going to move on from this theory soon. And I want you to get excited about that. But also, I would love to hear what your questions are. We're tackling doulas, how to hire one how to know if you want one, what to ask, like, all that kind of stuff. And then we're also tackling a couple other topics in this season. And so I would love for you to send me your questions that you have, so I can answer them for you. As always, this is a podcast intended for education and entertainment. I am not your healthcare provider. So this is not healthcare advice. You of course need to ask your own health care team about information specific to you. In the meantime, between now and whenever you're giving birth, and I see you next time in the podcast, I wish you well informed consent filled births, and I will see you in the next episode. These episodes are edited and produced by Kaely Herat as I'm sure you can probably tell, and our amazing music is credited in the shownotes as well. So we look forward to seeing you on the next episode. And in the meantime, have a wonderful and consent filled birth.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
If you’re pregnant and have a partner or spouse supporting you then it’s important for them to have the education and resources to support you well in the pregnancy, labor and postpartum. When a new baby is coming to a family it is a family adjustment.
But being a partner comes with its fair share of pressure! When to say/do things, what to say/do! A good childbirth class should include information and guidance for partners as well as information about labor. Things like how to help and what to look for, comfort measures, even how to be a great source of oxytocin (grab that oxytocin guide below for this!!). Even information about how and when to get your partner to your birthing location if you’re not birthing at home.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
Partners should know how to support their pregnant partner in pregnancy, labor and delivery, and postpartum
Partners should know the ins and outs of what's normal in labor in order to calm their own nerves and also to offer reassurance during the process
The new baby is a new stage of life for the entire family, so a partner needs to be equally prepared for that change!
RESOURCES
FREE OXYTOCIN GUIDE:
6 Ways to Increase Oxytocin for Labor Progression
https://www.harroddoulaservices.com/free-guide-6-oxytocin-tips
CONNECT with Kaely on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/Harroddoula/
This podcast is hosted by the Birth Prep Blueprint - comprehensive Childbirth Education for expectant parents to feel calm, prepared and confident about labor and birth. Podcast listeners (that’s YOU!) get 10% off! Use the link below to get that great deal!
https://thebirthprepblueprint.com/offers/884d5a56-9089-4482-a944-6bb7c26c9b04
If you like this episode, don't forget to share it to your Instagram stories and tag me @harroddoula
Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class
Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay
