Are You Your Own Best Boss?

Sep 15

Kaely Harrod 00:04
Welcome to doula Tips and Tits. This podcast is a place where we answer one question about doula work, both to support you and to help you support your clients. I'm Kaely Harrod. I've been supporting families in this perinatal space since my oldest was born 12 nearly 13 years ago. I am a birth and postpartum doula childbirth educator, La Leche League Leader, and a doula coach. I love guiding and supporting doulas as they work out their doula business, it is a tremendous joy to be trusted in this way. Thank you for joining us on this journey. Welcome back to doula Tips and Tips. I want to ask you a question to start off this episode. Are you your own worst boss, or your own best boss? Now, let me dive into that a little bit. Because I am of course talking from the perspective of you being the business owner, being self employed, right. And also how you kind of manage your own boundaries, your own priorities around self care and honoring your own desires and needs and dreams and things like that. And also, kind of countering the pressure that sometimes comes with being a business of starting slow, or you know, starting with low prices or having packages that everybody likes. And sort of like putting everyone else's needs ahead of your own needs. That's sort of where this question is coming from. So when you're thinking about your business, I want you to just imagine for a minute that you are working at like a random grocery store, right? And, you know, you you've been working there a while you like do a little bit of everything, right? Sometimes they're the cashier or sometimes the stocking person, sometimes your customer service, sometimes you're like, front door security, right? And you tell your manager or your boss, you know, the one thing I really can't do is restock the freezer like I you know, my my fingers and hands get really, really cold, super painful for me. And so is it possible for me to do anything else except that and your boss is like, Oh, of course, oh my gosh, no problem. You're such a great worker, like we've so enjoyed having you as an employee. And then maybe a week later, they're like, hey, you need to stock the freezer. And they're like, but we talked about that thing. And they're like, Yeah, but too bad. Like just suck it up and instruct the freezer right? Now, obviously, in that scenario, if someone were to tell you that if that was an experience that you were having, you would be like, that is really unfair. Like that's super unjust. Like you're being mean, right? You're being like, not respectful of my boundaries, you're not taking care of what I need in my body. And yet, as doulas, we do that to ourselves all the time. Now, I know on this beautiful podcast, I have spoken many times about charging a good price. And having like a high enough price is what I mean by that, having like packages that honor yourself and your time and you know that the needs of your family and the place that you live and things like that. But I think also, we have to think about how we approach holding our own boundaries, because we want to be our own best boss, meaning that we like give ourselves days off, right? We have boundaries around when and when we will and will not work right. Now. I don't say this from a place of mastery, right? I'm not talking about this. From a place of I always do this perfectly. I will share something with you. I am recording this podcast at 11:04pm which is not within working hours, right. But the reason I'm doing that is that this weekend, I'm solo parenting. And this is the time of night when my house is quiet and I have time alone and I can actually get some work done while my children are sleeping and my husband's on his way home from the trip that he's on. Like all of that stuff is what led to this right now. What I could have done is recorded this last week, but I didn't. So in that sense, I set myself up to need to do this work at 11pm by not doing it before today. Right? And that's a problem like that's really ultimately not sustainable in my business. I don't want to work for myself or anybody at 11pm unless someone's in labor, that's the only time I want to do that, right. But what I think is really easy to do is is kind of honor and protect other people's space and boundaries, and not honor and protect our own. And as business owners, but also as doulas that is so important to do, because the work that we do is really intense. And so we need to counter that with having some really good work life balance, when we're not really intensely in the support that we do with clients, right? So I want to just challenge you to take some time. And think through a few different things, ask yourself a few questions. One question is, how do you treat yourself? And what I mean is like, do you speak to yourself kindly? Do you congratulate yourself? Do you celebrate yourself? Do you? Like amp yourself up? Right? Are you are you your own best, biggest fan? The other question I want you to ask is, are you honoring your own boundaries? Are there things that you don't like doing, that you could stop doing in your business that you have not stopped? Because you don't set up boundaries for yourself? Well, right. So are you essentially putting yourself on freezer duty, even a freezer duty hurts your hands? Right? Think about that? Are there ways that you dishonor your the needs of your body and yourself by continuing to do something that you know, is not sustainable? Or is not enjoyable for you? Right? The other thing I want you to think about is, are you paying yourself an adequate amount of money, because this work is work that we come to, with this deep desire to help in most cases. And so sometimes charging for that help feels really weird. And a lot of doulas are not business people, so they don't come with the intention to be millionaires, right? And still, you wouldn't I mean, again, going back to the grocery store, right? You wouldn't be like I work at this grocery store. My hands are freezing cold, but they only pay me like $6 an hour, right? But if you are attending a birth or going to an overnight for very little money, you're doing that to yourself? And really, is that sustainable for yourself and your business? And is that honoring you and who you are and your expertise and all of that. So I want you to give yourself a few hours, a few days, maybe and think about these things. And come talk to me about it. I would love to hear from you and hear like, Are you really the best boss you've ever had? Or are you kind of bad at being your boss, right? And how could you improve like we all have room to improve? I mean, I'm gonna try to not continue recording podcasts at 11pm. What am I doing to do that I'm setting aside time to plan out podcasts and record a bunch of them in advance. I did that really well this summer, and I need to continue doing it really well into the fall. And so that's something that I think is really important to just keep in mind that there are going to be times when you kind of suck at it and then you can pick yourself up and do better. And moving forward is what the goal is not perfection, right? You're never you're never going to achieve perfection so that should not be your aim. So try to be your best boss and when you're not apologize to yourself and then repair that right and give yourself some bonuses. Give yourself a day off like really take good care of yourself as your own boss because honestly, that should be the best part of being self employed. Okay, I am super excited to talk to you soon. I have lots of fun things coming this fall. I would still love to hear from you over on Instagram at Harrod, doula to hear what things you would love for me to discuss on the podcast? I'll see in the next episode. Thanks for joining us for this episode of the doula Tips and Tits podcast. If you learned something today or had an aha moment we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us at Herat doula, so we can celebrate alongside you. If you found this podcast helpful. We would so appreciate you taking a second to leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast app that helps other doulas find us as we do this work together. This podcast is intended as educational and entertainment it is not medical advice or business advice. Please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around your health and your business. We'll see you again soon.

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As doulas, we're no strangers to the transformative power of birth, and now it's time to channel that same strength and wisdom into building our own businesses. Being your own boss as a doula opens up a world of possibilities, allowing you to shape your practice, serve your clients authentically, and chart your own professional course.

Quote from the show:

“Are you really the best boss you've ever had? Or are you kind of bad at being your boss, right? And how could you improve like we all have room to improve? I mean, I'm gonna try to not continue recording podcasts at 11pm. What am I doing to do that I'm setting aside time to plan out podcasts and record a bunch of them in advance. I did that really well this summer, and I need to continue doing it really well into the fall. And so that's something that I think is really important to just keep in mind that there are going to be times when you kind of suck at it and then you can pick yourself up and do better. And moving forward is what the goal is not perfection, right? You're never you're never going to achieve perfection so that should not be your aim. So try to be your best boss and when you're not apologize to yourself and then repair that right and give yourself some bonuses. Give yourself a day off like really take good care of yourself as your own boss because honestly, that should be the best part of being self employed. ”

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Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services

It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class

Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay