What Should I Ask as a Doula in a Consultation?

• Transcript

  Kaely Harrod 00:04

  Welcome to doula Tips and Tits. This podcast is a place where we answer one question about doula work, both to support you and to help you support your clients. I'm Kaely Harrod. I've been supporting families in this perinatal space since my oldest was born 12 nearly 13 years ago. I am a birth and postpartum doula childbirth educator, La Leche League Leader and a doula coach. I love guiding and supporting doulas as they work out their doula business. It is a tremendous joy to be trusted in this way. Thank you for joining us on this journey. I would like to assert that a doula consultation is an art form. Welcome back to doula Tips and Tips. I hope that you enjoyed this summer of all of the fabulous people that I got to interview. We have a string of some solo episodes this like late summer into early fall, in part because we had all those awesome guests in July that I'm super pumped about. And in part because I have a lot of stuff that I've been wanting to talk to you all about share with you. While we've been doing that awesome series. So last episode was about doula consultations as well. This episode is two part of that is because I do have a workshop next week. So if you're listening to this on the day that it's coming out, it the workshop is literally next week. So this episode comes out on I believe, the 11th of August, and my workshops on the 16th. So there's still time at the time of this episode going live to sign up for that workshop. And I want to talk a little bit about why I'm doing some of the things I'm doing in that workshop because I am super intentional about what I do. And I like to sometimes just explain it a bit because I don't know that it's as obvious as I think it is. So first talking about doula consultations, the first thing I want to really talk about is how the heck you get comfortable with them, right? So when I say a doula consultation is an art form? What I mean is, it's something that you practice, it's something that you get better with at with time, right? And when I think about doula work, there's so much of it that I kind of instinctively do, because I've been doing it a while. That is hard to kind of get out of my brain because I'm like, Yeah, I show up. And I do this because obviously, right. And the same is true with babies to some extent, like I am a mom of three kiddos. They are not babies, they're 1311, and nine, they're growing up super fast. This fall, we're going to have only kids in the double digits. And it's kind of like, terrifying, I don't know, but also exciting and great. But there are certain things like about soothing a baby, for instance, that it's hard for me to explain, but easy for me to show you, right? And so I'll sometimes hold a baby for someone baby super cranky, I am that person that's like in target in line, like, I'm happy to like play with your kid while you check out. You know, because I've been there. I remember, like this can be a shit show, right? And so part of part of what I think about with a doula consultation is that you can learn about it in like your doula training, or even hearing people talk about it, taking a free class on it or whatever. But then applying it in real time in real life is a different scenario. So one of the things that I remember so distinctly that I know I have talked about before, but I'm just going to come back to it because yeah, it is. It is what it is, is that when I began doula work, I had had kids and I had attended a birth as a like, doula, essentially, for a friend. So being pregnant was not new to me, right? How being in a hospital was not new. I personally have not had vaginal deliveries. So that's I've labored a ton. I have a wide varied experience, but three cesarean births, okay. And the birth that I supported was a dear friend of mine before I became a trained doula, a dear friend of mine, and I had supported her. Her birth went very smoothly, and I didn't really do like the doula consultation stuff because she just asked me to be her doula, her support person, right. So when I came into doula work, being present at a birth was is not particularly tricky for me now being president a birth for someone that I had never met except for as a doula that was a little dicey. But but the other things like running a prenatal visit or talking through a consultation or charging rates, right having packages, that stuff I felt woefully unprepared for. And to be honest, when I was first starting out, I would still say like, oh, yeah, I don't work. And then I'm like, wait, wait. Yes, I do. I'm a doula. Right. And so that was kind of where the space that I began in. So I remember being told like, hey, this person wants to do a doula consultation with you and being like, oh, shoot, like, what the heck is that supposed to be? Like, what what do I do? Do they have the questions? Do I have the questions like, Who has the transcript for how this goes, right? Because it was daunting to think about, like walking into this meeting, and just like, say what you're supposed to say, but what the heck is that? Right, so. So I say that to say, when I have been thinking through what would be most helpful to doulas who are new, or who are kind of like, not super new, but just needing their their business to grow some right, needing some assistance and helping kind of get some traction, then this is one of the things that I keep coming back to and I you know, asked in some Instagram stories at some point, like, hey, what kind of classes would people benefit from and prenatal visits and doula consultations came up a bunch. So a ton of different people were also saying to me, like, hey, we don't know how to do this well, or we're doing it but we don't know if it's good. Like, if we're doing it correctly, or whatever. We're not getting a lot of people hiring us. And so we're worried that maybe it's a doula consultation. That's like, not great. And we like haven't really ever seen someone else do one. And so we don't really know what to expect, right? And we don't really know if we're like, doing it well. And so we have this like overwhelming impostor syndrome just all the time, you know, which, quite frankly, is exhausting. Like, who wants to live like that, right? Like, just constantly feeling like, I don't know, was that good or not? I remember, I remember one of my earliest doula consultations, which I feel like shouldn't even really count because I sort of knew this person. We had taken a class I did like a race, one on one class, diving into like, the history of racism and things like that. And she was pregnant. And so I met her in this class, we had some like, you know, connection, because we're both in this class. We both really committed to equity and justice and a further understanding of the history and background and depth of things, you know. And then someone said, Oh, hey, you should be Natalie's doula. And I was like, oh, and I of course, had been like, I mean, yeah, I could be your doula. But I didn't want to be like, weird about it, you know, because we're just in class together. She was pregnant. I was a doula. That was all, you know. And so she's like, Yeah, you know, I hadn't really thought about a doula, but like, let's talk. And so we set up a time to meet at a coffee shop and chat. And I mean, they hired me, I was their doula for two babies. So this is there's a positive ending to this story. But I distinctly remember, at the end kind of being like, okay, I guess we all leave now.

  08:46

  Just being like, why am I so awkward? But also just feeling like,

  Kaely Harrod 08:52

  I don't know if I did that, right or not? Right? Like I don't, I have nothing to feel like good, bad or neutral about because I'm just like, Oh, I feel like I'm just throwing things into the wind and like, hoping that they are the right things. That is not the phrase, you know, what we're gonna leave it throwing things into the wind. What even does that mean? I don't know. throwing things at the wall. Is that the phrase? Okay, I'm gonna look that up when this podcast is over. Because, yeah, my brain. So. So what this workshop is, is first of all, interactive. So the reason that the paid workshop is that I want to actually dig into how you do consultations. So it's not just you come I talk at you, I teach you something that's like minimally helpful, but not entirely helpful. And then you leave, right it's actually interactive. So we are going to interact with one another. And that's also why there's only 40 spots because I do not want it to be 100 people, like some of my master classes are like 8090 people I don't want And that because I want it to be small, so that we can dive into things together and that you can ask questions. So the majority of it is not me talking at you, the majority of it is us troubleshooting this and what this looks like for you in your business, how you ask and answer these questions, etc. And what kind of packages are you trying to, like, have consultations about how do you talk about them? All of that so that when you leave, you feel ready to have a consultation? Now, I am not a magician, right? I can't promise you that you're never gonna have a lick of imposter syndrome or feel awkward about anything again in life because you know, I am awkward still about things in life. Newsflash. Sure you know that about me since you listen to this beautiful podcast. But I can tell you that when you leave, you will have an actual game plan. Now that means you need to be there in person, right? It's August 16, from 11am to 1pm. Eastern time. So adjust that to whatever time zone you're listening from. It is paid. So one thing that I want to be sure that we cover briefly before we finish up this episode is What is the pay because I'm a fan of free stuff. Honestly, like I love free trainings, I love doing free trainings, I love taking free trainings, I love getting freebies from people, that is totally my jam, right? This workshop is paid because of the interaction and because of the small size, but it's a pay what you can model. So how I have it set up is that there's an option to pay the full price for the course, which is $99. And then there's an option to pay whatever you can with a minimum of $10. So you're still investing a minimum of $10 into your business. But if all you have right now to invest is $10 Please pay $10 for the class, I would love to have you in the class for only $10. Okay, you will get the exact same love and attention that you would get if you paid the full freakin price. All right. So part of what I I really love and value in life and also in my business is equity and accessibility. And you've heard me talk before if you've been listening to this podcast about sustainability, needing to charge a rate that is something that your business and your your family and your body, your living situation can handle right? So I don't have the capacity to give things away for free all the time, right? But when I can, I want to add accessibility into my business. So this is the first time I'm doing this model and I am super excited to see if it's something that I want to continue doing because why not right like I would love to be able to offer something where you get to pay what feels doable and good and and not stressful to you and also give some value to the time that you're implementing this into your business right helps you invest in yourself and your business being better and bigger and growing, etc. So I would love to have you at next week's masterclass workshop, I'm going to call it the wrong thing a million times it's a workshop. Please do use the link in the show notes to sign up or come over to Instagram at Herat doula. And ask me questions about it. Because I'm more than happy to answer questions about anything really like I love chatting with people say I would love to hear you come over and say, Hey, I'm listening to your podcast. I heard about the workshop. I have questions about it. Blah, blah, blah, right? I will happily engage with you over there. I cannot wait to see you at the workshop and help you really dig into your questions and answers for consultations but also to get to see your beautiful face and meet you kind of in person not in person but virtually but live. So I'm super pumped about that portion of it. And I can't wait to see you there. And also I will see you in the next episode.

  Kaely Harrod 14:36

  Thanks for joining us for this episode of the doula Tips and Tips podcast. If you learned something today or had an aha moment we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us at Herat doula, so we can celebrate alongside you. If you found this podcast helpful. We would so appreciate you taking a second to leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast app that helps others do Less find us as we do this work together this podcast is intended as educational and entertainment it is not medical advice or business advice please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around

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Doula Consultations are an art form. You have to learn them! You have to practice them! They are not a natural thing that some of us are good at and others are not. Doulas need to show up with a game plan of what they want to know/learn and what they want to share. That takes intentionality and planning! 

Quote from the show:

“Part of what I think about with a doula consultation is that you can learn about it in your doula training, or even hearing people talk about it, taking a free class on it or whatever. But then applying it in real time in real life is a different scenario.”

If you are ready to step up your Doula Consultation game sign up for the upcoming Interactive Workshop: 

The Doula Boss’s Blueprint: Mastering Consultations To Get More Clients

https://www.harroddoulaservices.com/doula-boss-blueprint-workshop

CONNECT with Kaely on TikTok or  Instagram

https://www.tiktok.com/@doulacoach

https://www.instagram.com/Harroddoula/

If you like this episode, don't forget to share it to your Instagram stories and tag me @harroddoula

Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services

It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class

Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay