What Questions Should I Ask When I'm Hiring a Doula?
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Kaely Harrod 0:00
Hello and welcome back. Today's question is, what questions should I ask when I'm hiring a doula? This is Kaely Daily,
Kaely Harrod 0:09
the bi weekly podcast about all things doula Tips and Tits where we answer one question about pregnancy, labor or postpartum or lactation, in order to have your journey in this parenting world be just a little bit more informed and filled with Hello. Welcome back to Kaely Daily. I'm Kaely Harrod, your host of this beautiful podcast. And we're diving into another doula question. So we have a couple more, I think probably four episodes left in this little series. And today's question is all about hiring a doula. Now, I'm going to talk a little bit about hiring both postpartum and birth, doulas, and kind of what can those questions look like?
Kaely Harrod 0:53
So I'm gonna give you a rundown now, because the question today is, what questions should I ask when I hire a doula? There are truthfully dozens of questions you could ask. Right? I think part of it is specific to you. So let's say you're wanting a particular kind of experience, right?
Kaely Harrod 1:16
Like, I have a friend who wanted a doula who had had a similar birth experience to her. Well, then in her situation, it was important for her to ask for that right to like, really be specific in that question. But that's not what everybody needs to ask. Right? So part of it can be kind of taking some time to think through like, what am I really wanting my Doula to do and be, so if I'm really wanting for them to like, have some sort of specific training or some kind of particular knowledge or to speak to me a certain way or whatever, then then those questions that are particular to you, you need to take some time to think through before you have a conversation with a doula, right.
Kaely Harrod 2:02
The questions I'm gonna give you today are kind of general right? And I'm gonna kind of at sort of fill in, like, Why do I think these questions are important? And, and then give you some space to add your own things in? Okay? So a very basic one is if they're available for your due date. Now, if you're wanting a birth, doula, oftentimes, doulas have a certain number of clients do in a particular range of time. So some people do like per calendar month, some people do per four week period. And so many of us try to keep our numbers to like, between between 105 or something like that. Totally depends on the doula. So it's worth asking, how many clients do you take in a month? How many? How much space? Do you have like around my due date? Right. And so that's one kind of basic one. Now, some doulas have it set up where like when you submit an inquiry, you already get kind of automatically sent the information that they're full. So for me, for instance, I have my email system is set up such that if you submit an inquiry and say like, Hey, I want a birth doula, and I'm due in January, I'm not taking anyone else in January right now. And so my system will actually just send you an email that says, like, I'm so sorry, I'm already full in January. And here are some other doulas that I really recommend for you to reach out to who might have availability. Now, I of course, don't know at any given time, if all of those doulas do have availability when I'm full. But also, it's kind of like a starting point for folks. Right. So sometimes you already know that before you've had a conversation with someone. But that's an important question to ask just to start off with to be sure that this person is even available to to be there for your due date. If you're wanting postpartum care, then same thing as same kind of question. But if they're available around your due date for the kind of care that you're wanting, and let me clarify what I mean. So what I often ask clients when they're like, Okay, I want postpartum care, I'm due November 15. Right? Then I'll ask them, okay, what kind of postpartum care do you want? Like, what do you want that to look like? Because if you want me like every single day, after you have your baby, then you're going to be my only November client for postpartum care, right? If you want me like once or twice a week for the first like six or seven weeks, then I can have another family doing postpartum care at the same time, because I have enough availability to do it more than once a week, right? So some of it depends on what you're imagining. So again, going back to having an idea of what you want to need when you're going into this conversation Um, and also helping to kind of like, gauge that with the doula like what would be most helpful.
Kaely Harrod 5:08
A second postpartum specific question is if people do days or nights. So if you want a mixture of day and night care or you want only one or the other, it's really important that you make sure that your doula does that because some postpartum doulas do only nights, some postpartum doulas do only days and some do both. So that's very important to learn as well. Okay. Now the next one, I think it's important to ask some version of this. So it doesn't have to be this wording, but I worded it like, what is your philosophy around birth and postpartum? Okay? Now, if you're hiring for a birth doula, what I'm thinking about in this question is, what types of births Do you support? And how do you approach the supportive birth? Right? So for me, for instance, I like this kind of question, because I feel like it's a more robust question than just asking, do you support medicated and unmedicated Labor's right? Because your philosophy around birth is different than what types of Labor's you're willing or able to, to support? Right? So for instance, if someone asked me that question, I would answer that, like, My Birth philosophy is that birth is a beautiful, lovely, wonderful thing. And also can be really hard and triggering, and that the person in the midst of the labor experience, so the person who's pregnant person giving birth should be the central focus of that experience, they should be empowered and educated in a way that they can drive that experience. Okay, so I, it doesn't have anything to do with how a baby comes out for me, right? It doesn't have anything to do with what your pain management coping it pain management plan is, how you're planning to cope, those kind of two things matched together. And so it's more about feeling like you need to feel well supported, and like you're the driver or the decision maker in this. And partially because we know that that reduces trauma, and the prenatal and postpartum time. So that's part of why that is my philosophy. And also, I have the skills and the tools and the experience to support all sorts of births. So I'm not worried that yours is going to be one that I can't support, right? But also, I don't come in with an agenda for a birth, right? So I don't come in saying, okay, this person is going to be unmedicated. And they have to do that, because that's what they decided they're going to do. And on the flip side, I don't come in thinking like, well, you're gonna get an epidural. And so I don't use need to use any comfort measures. Because birth is different than that, right? It's more nuanced than that kind of cut and dry distinction, okay. Now postpartum in this question around postpartum philosophy, you could maybe break it down into specific areas. So things that people have differing opinions on, one is feeding. So if you're planning to breastfeed versus formula feed, and if you have a postpartum doula who's very heavy into lactation support, and they really don't like supporting families in formula, then that's something to ask if you're planning to formula feed. Another is the philosophy around sleep now.
Kaely Harrod 8:45
I tend to be on the side of like, normal sleep needs to be normalized, which I know sounds very redundant. But I think we like cram babies into a box too frequently around sleep. Right? So that means I'm not a doula who's going to help you figure out crying it out, for instance, that's not something I do. And so if that's what you're looking for, I'm not the right doula for you, right? So those kinds of parenting things can be important if those are like something that you have a very hard stance on. Now, the other part of that question that I think for postpartum specifically, you could kind of like tease out a little is what does your Postpartum Support emphasize? So for me, you're probably not surprised to hear I emphasize education, in part because I want you to know what's normal. I want you to know what's not normal, like what's the sign of concern, right? I want to provide reassurance but I also want to provide some competence for you like I want I want you to feel when I leave your your postpartum care that you're like, we can do this, because we did it with Kaylee and we learned how to do it well, and now we like have a sustainable way to make this work for our family. So that's my goal, right? My goal as a postpartum doula is always to work myself out of a job and to leave a family feeling more confident and supported than I when I came. Okay. So that's a whole philosophy, right? Where some people are like, my postpartum care is just like, come and teach you things and nothing else, right. And some people are like burned, postpartum care is calm and hold your baby, and take care of your baby while you do whatever you want. And it's not education. And there's a huge variation of that, because doulas are not all the same, right? For me, for instance, as a doula, I am confident and comfortable being alone with your baby, if needed. So let's say you have an appointment, and you're like, Okay, Kaylee, I want you to come and like, you're gonna be with the baby, and I'm gonna go to my appointment, and then I'm gonna come back. That's fine with me where some postpartum doulas don't do that? Because they consider that babysitting. And so they're like, No, I'm not going to do that. For me. I'm like, if you trust me, and you want to pay more than a babysitter, right? I'm happy to do that. Like, that's, that's fine with me. It's also something that's in my insurance and all that, like, it's, it's like a part of my work, right? And so we're all a little bit different in that as well. So then, I would, I would recommend that you ask the person, the doula, to walk through what their process of support looks like from start to finish. Now, if that's the birth support, I think that that should include like, if I hire you today, what does it look like between now and when I give birth, right? And then for Postpartum Support? It's more like, Okay, well, you know, what does it look like now if I hire you today, but I'm still pregnant for three months? And also, what does it look like once I give birth to the baby, right, and kind of what's included in that? And then the last thing that I think I added as a question, but I think it could just be something you're kind of observing throughout the consultation. So excuse me, oh, I do a life. I've told you this in another episode, but the exhaustion is constant. So um, so the last one that I think is important is how they communicate. Now.
Kaely Harrod 12:22
There's a couple of different layers here, right? One is feeling comfortable with the way that someone communicates. One of the things I regularly say to folks is if you're looking to hire a doula, how many births they've attended, and things like that are important. But also, it's very important that they have some kind of communication connection with you. And what I mean when I say that is you like jive with how they're communicating, right? I feel like very old using that word, but that it like works for you. Right? So when someone's communicating with me, I like sometimes make jokes and things like that. If someone doesn't like that, then I don't want them to hire me as their doula because that means we're not a great fit, right. But mostly, I have clients that are like, Oh, we kind of like your corny jokes. And like, that's kind of part of why we hired you is that you're just like, like, you came to the interviewer with a pun on your shirt. And we love that, you know, so that kind of communication is really important. Because if you're a person that wants like, fax and like very, I mean, I do fax, that's not that's not a good example. If you're a person that wants like more direct communication, that is less humorous, right? Then I might not be a good fit for you. Or if you're like, God drives me bananas that Kaylee answers questions for like a minute and a half, then I'm not a good fit for you. Right? That's fine. That's good and important to know. And also important to kind of tease that out during the prenatal time when you're hiring this person, or in the postpartum time, if you're hiring a postpartum doula after you've given birth. Okay, now, I have one more question that is birth specific, that I think is important to, to ask. And I'm gonna kind of explain why. So the question is, do you have any training in baby positioning, such as spinning babies, etc. Now, the reason I say that is that so many labor processes are sort of impacted right by the baby's position, now impacted for the for better or worse, right? Sometimes the baby's vision is really great. And that makes birth very straightforward. And then there are other times when baby's position is off a bit. And that makes birth kind of tumultuous, right. I don't say this question to say that doulas who have training in baby positioning and repositioning babies and things like that can Make vaginal deliveries always happen, right? That's not the case. We're not magical. Sadly, I wish we were, but we're not. But I think it's a skill set that really increases the chance of vaginal delivery. So if it's something that your doula is trained in and employing every single birth they're at, that's a really good tool to have on your birth team, especially if you're not sure if you're giving birth in a health system that has trained their providers in those tools, because not all providers and nurses are trained in that. So that's, I think, a really important one if you're giving birth, vaginally especially.
Kaely Harrod 15:40
But even if you're giving birth via C section, it's important for your body in the midst of pregnancy to have some good support and balance, as you're kind of getting farther along in the pregnancy and your uterus is heavier. So that's my short and sweet list. Now, you notice I don't ask like how many births have you attended and things like that? If that information matters to you, that's fine to ask. But I think these things are more important than that. That's the honest truth. Like I think how long you've been a doula and how many births you've attended is less important than if I feel like I trust you and your communication is good. And you have some of the skill sets that I need you to have and want you to have. And and if you disagree with that, that's okay. Right? We have the you have the freedom or the freedom to disagree with me. And absolutely to ask, have you worked with my care team? And how many births have you attended? How long have you been doing this? How did you get into this work? Right? Those are things you can ask if you want to. Now, I sometimes have people ask me those sometimes not totally depends on the interview. But these are things that I would tell someone if they didn't ask me because I think they are so important in the process of hiring a doula. So I hope that's helpful. We have I think, like three or four episodes left for doula questions, unless I get another question. If you have a question about doula hiring, please do send me a message on Instagram. My Instagram information is in the show notes or in the comments in the description below, excuse me. And also there is a new course platform. So our class, our podcast, this beautiful doula Tips and Tips podcast, is sponsored by the birth prep blueprint childbirth class, which is a childbirth class that I created to be on demand Virtual Academy at your fingertips, childbirth class, now that childbirth class just got a new home, it has a brand new host site that it's living on. And that means that your way to access it has changed a little. So in the description or in the show notes. Depending on where you are listening or watching this. There is a link that takes you to the checkout for that class. And there's a coupon code, podcast, all caps, that gets you that 10% discount for being a podcast listener. Okay. So make sure that you check that out because it is a really awesome class. And if you're not sure about like self paced at all that I'm going to link the podcast episode that we talked through that and why the benefit, what the benefits are and why I made it that way. So that you have that below. And then please do send me any questions you have about it. I'm happy to chat enough, like jump on a call and chat about whatever your questions are. So all right, until next time, I wish you well informed consent filled births. These episodes are edited and produced by Kaely. Harrod rod, as I'm sure you can probably tell, and our amazing music is credited in the shownotes as well. So we look forward to seeing you on the next episode, and in the meantime, have a wonderful and consent filled birth.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Hiring a birth or postpartum doula typically starts with a doula consultation. During that consultation there’s an interview of sorts between the doula (or doulas) and prospective client(s). It should include a back and forth including getting to know each other as well as asking a variety of questions that are relevant to what you’re looking for in a doula.
This episode outlines some questions that can be asked during that interview if you find them helpful.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
Questions:
Are you available for my due date (obvious, I know!)
How many doula clients do you take in a month?
For Postpartum Doulas: Do you do days or nights or both?
What is your philosophy around birth?
What are your thoughts on (insert topic that matters to you ie sleep, eating, etc.) in the postpartum time?
Can you walk me through what your services include from hire until the end?
What’s your communication style?
RESOURCES
FREE OXYTOCIN GUIDE:
6 Ways to Increase Oxytocin for Labor Progression
https://www.harroddoulaservices.com/free-guide-6-oxytocin-tips
CONNECT with Kaely on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/Harroddoula/
This podcast is hosted by the Birth Prep Blueprint - comprehensive Childbirth Education for expectant parents to feel calm, prepared and confident about labor and birth. Podcast listeners (that’s YOU!) get 10% off! Use the link below and coupon code PODCAST
https://www.harroddoulaservices.com/birth-prep-blueprint
** The Birth Prep Blueprint is offered for only $20 to anyone who qualifies for any kind of social services (meaning that a family has a lower income to the point that they would qualify for WIC or SNAP or Medicaid, etc.). No need to disclose your income, just which service you qualify for and the link can be sent right over. Just email kaely@harroddoulaservices.com to learn more.
If you like this episode, don't forget to share it to your Instagram stories and tag me @harroddoula
Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class
Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay
