Owning A Doula Business should not be an isolated Place!
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Transcript
Welcome to Doula Tips and Tits, the podcast where we cut through the noise and get real about what it takes to build a sustainable doula business. I'm Kaylee Harrod. I've been a doula informally for 14 years and full time for seven. Around here, we don't sugarcoat stuff. We talk autonomy, owning your worth, creating a business that works for you. No fluff, no burnout, just the honest truth on how to be your own best boss.
Let's get into today's episode.
Hello and welcome back to doula tips and tips. Today we are talking about the power of community in building your doula business and why it's important to not do it alone.
I know that I have touched on this before and what I want to really dig into today is the myth that people are doing it on their own right and so as a philosophy I am a person who is against the pull yourself up by your own bootstraps idea because it's just not true and I know this might get a little too granular for some folks so maybe you'll be like oh Kaylee it's not that it's not that serious right it's not that deep but I do think this mindset plays a huge part in how we think about ourselves and our businesses and our culture and our community and it can be a big contributor to thinking that you are doing something better than somebody else.
Now I'm not entirely against you feeling like a badass right like I think that you should feel like I am amazing at this job like I think I am a really good doula and I know that I show up in a way that some other doulas don't show up however that doesn't mean I'm inherently better than those other people right so when I think about the idea of like you know I kind of worked hard to get to where I am yes that's true but also I had a ton of support to get to where I am so when we think about the idea of a solo entrepreneur we have to bring in the realization that somebody along the way has been a part of that process to some extent now this can be you know family members it can be friends it can be like free classes that you've taken online about marketing it can even just be youtube right like it can just be a platform that you're learning from yes you sought out that knowledge yes you took the time to learn it and implement it but someone else created the resource for you to learn it and implement it someone else created the doula training for you to be trained and become a doula in the first place so I would love for you to take a second and just mentally review who has been a part of this process for you how have they impacted the work that you do as a doula and I want to sort of share some of the folks in my own life to get you started thinking about who it might be in your life so for me as a doula my some of my very first people who contributed to this work that I do are friends and family because I had a friend who wanted me to attend her birth as her doula she believed that I could do it she thought I would be really great at it and then she encouraged me to do it more because she was like you are great at this and in fact her team at the hospital thought I was actually a doula and I had never attended a vaginal delivery ever and so she was one she was a big big part of it my husband has been a huge part of my success and support in the process of having a business being a and the unpredictability of life as a doula my doula trainer who initially trained me she and I got connected because we were in the same faith community for a while and she was so generous with her time talking to me about doula care talking to me about different doula trainings and I ended up doing a training with her with an agent a group that I no longer am certified with but she as a person was very beneficial to me in the early days of my doula work and I could kind of process with her I could share with her like there's a different sort of like you know you're a doula and I'm a doula so we both know this thing that is really lovely with folks who are kind of ahead of you in this work right Um, once I was a doula, the agency owners that I worked with did a lot of guidance and encouragement for me.
They also really encouraged people to hire me, which was huge. Like that was really, really beneficial to me in the early days, because they believed in me in a way that I didn't believe in myself, right?
Um, there were a couple more experienced doulas that I got connected to pretty quickly that honestly have like made me who I am as a doula, right? Um, one is named Lindsay. If you are local to me, you probably know this magical human being. Um, and she had me over, I don't remember. I think I was like maybe five births in like really, really new and had me over to like discuss, there was of course, like some racism issues that were happening. And I was very passionately against that. And then I was trying to feel out the like community in this area and what I was getting into how, how I really fit in that space. Um, and also at the same time, I had a client who was, um, getting feedback from her provider about what they wanted her to do. And I was at Lindsay's house when I was getting that information. And so Lindsay was sharing things with me, like, Oh, I would have her do this. And I maybe have her do that. Um, there was another doula who's also Lindsay ironically, who is not local anymore, but was when I was a new doula and she did the exact same thing.
I had a client go kind of go into labor and, um, she was at my house. Like she was visiting with us and she was like, I was like, Oh my gosh, I think she's in labor, like kind of freaking out about it, which is hilarious to me now because I'm like, I was totally freaking out. And now I'm just like, Oh, okay. That baby's coming. Not that I'm not excited, but I'm not freaking out about it. Um, and she was like, you don't need to go like this is, you know, she's just, it might not even be labor. And I was like, what am I not belabor? She was like, yeah, these contractions are far apart. Like they're really mild. This could kind of calm down. And it did. In fact, for that client, it did calm down. And then I was like, Oh, I didn't realize that this could calm down. Right? Like there were so many layers that I learned alongside other people generously sharing their experience with me. Um, another person that I want to make sure to bring up is named Carolyn, who used to also be local here. And she got me into childbirth education and I've been an educator. I used to teach Spanish and I taught English as a second language to Spanish speakers. So I've been an adult teacher and educator for a very long time. I love education so much, but when I was a newer doula, I did not have the money to become certified in childbirth ed. And so she took me under her wing, brought me into her group and was like, I believe in you. You can do this. This is how I want you to do it. This is a curriculum. I want you to use and got me started. And then I never looked back.
Like the, the fact that I was able to get started teaching was honestly a huge life changer for my business because not only did it grow my competence, it also continued to solidify in me that I did know what I was talking about and I did have experience and I did have the ability to help people and answer questions.
And there was a lot of imposter syndrome for me in the early about year to two years. And so her belief in me and also kind of her like shoving me into the deep end of teaching classes, um, was wildly helpful and allowed me to find my rhythm as a teacher, allowed me to find like my talking points as a teacher. And now I teach childbirth ed as a big part of my business. Like I teach three classes usually at the breastfeeding center in DC. I'm on the childbirth education team at one of our local hospitals, Virginia hospital center, and then I have my private class that people take when they're like becoming my client and things like that. So childbirth ed is a massive part of my business. And if it weren't for Carolyn getting me started there, I don't know that I would have gotten there very quickly. And I think getting there and needing to build myself in that space would have been very hard where getting there and then being kind of encouraged and pushed into that space was really what I needed.
So there's so many more people, but that's like kind of the starting place, right? And I could get into like, I have a client I've talked about before on the podcast who is a lawyer and really encouraged me to raise my rates when I was charging. I think she hired me when I was charging $1,500. And so she was like, you need to at least pay 2,000 or at least charge 2,000. This is like way too much work for $1,500. And then she paid me an extra $500 because she was like, I wanna be the first person who pays you the rate that you should be charging. And that was many years ago. And I was like, okay, so I raised my rate to 2,000. And then she was like, great, let me know when you raise it to 25. I was like, what? And she was like, yeah, you gotta keep going. And so I think about her all the time and actually need to reach out to her sometime and take her to coffee and be like, guess what I charge now?
Because now I charge 3,500 as a minimum. Like that's the lowest package you can do with me. And she will be so happy about that. Like she'll be very proud of me. That is where I am in my own business. So when we think about the way that people influence us and the way that community helps our businesses grow, there are some organic things, right? Like I mentioned my client, obviously I couldn't have sought her out and planned that. The doulas who just happened to be with me when clients called and had things going on. But also there is a space for you to seek out mentorship and accountability, for you to seek out expert feedback so that you are not trying to do it on your own. Isolation leads to burnout. Isolation leads to missed opportunities. Isolation as a doula honestly leads to health issues, leads to mental health issues, leads to a loneliness that is just really terrible for you.
And what I think about when I think about business coaching and mentorship is that you don't have to have it, right? There's plenty of businesses that are growing without it, but the speed of growth and the clarity of what things to change, the actionable plans.
are different when you have someone who knows what they're talking about, who has been where you want to be, and can help you even see that space. I had a doula recently who said to me, you know, I think that I probably need to work on selling this package, but I don't really like that package, and I don't know. And I said to her, OK, well, why don't you like this package? What do you not like about this? And she was like, well, I have an in-person, main birth doula package, and then I have this virtual doula package. And I just don't really advertise it. I don't really tell people about it. And I was like, do you like to do it? Do you want to do that package? Do you want to have that package? And she was like, yeah, actually, I do want to have it.
I really like it a lot. And it's loads easier for me than getting up in the middle of the night and going to a birth. And I was like, OK, then tell people about it. And she was like, oh. And I'm like, yeah, so when you have a doula consultation, right now, you probably say something like, I only have one birth package. Because that's what I say, too. Like, I say that, and I have a virtual doula package. But I don't actually want to do the virtual doula package. So for me, I'm like, oh, I'm not even going to tell you about that. Because A, you're reaching out to me because you're local to me, and you want me to do the in-person one. But B, I just don't really want to tell you about it. But if you like that package, and this is what I said to her. I said, OK, well, what if you had a consultation? And you said to the people that talk to you, there are two ways to get my support for birth. One is in-person support, where you get this, this, this, and this, and the cost is this. The other is virtual support. And you get this, this, this, and this, and the cost is this. The difference between the two, aside from cost, is that if you're feeling nervous about having an extra person in your actual birth space, or if you're not local enough to me that I can be in your birth space, you can still have support of a doula without that. You're primarily wanting help with decision making, help with comfort measures, like things like changing positions and which position to do next. Those are things you can get from a virtual doula. And it's a cheaper price point. And so if that is a factor for you, that is something you can do. But it's like having a book for sale, and then another book for sale, and you just put the second book behind the first book, and so no one even knows it's there, right? And so when you're thinking about business growth, there's a category that's like, yeah, I know I should be doing that, but I'm not doing it. There's a category of, I know I should be doing that, but I don't know how to do that, and so I need to learn how to do it before I can do it. And then there's a category of, I didn't even know I could do that, or I didn't even think about doing that. That is the category that is mainly impacted by having accountability and community in your business.
Now, the others are also impacted, right? If you're like, yeah, I need to do this, but I'm not doing it, that's where accountability comes in, where another doula can be like, okay, but you're saying you wanna grow, so get your act together, right? So do the thing that you know you need to do. The second one, if you're like, I know I need to do something, but I'm not quite sure how to do it, having someone who's done it before, having someone who has done that work of troubleshooting it can help tremendously because I can help you know how to do that thing that you need to be doing. And then, and I think most importantly, there will be things that other people's perspectives will highlight that you have never thought of, that you would never have decided to do had it not been for someone telling you they saw that thing in you or that thing really mattered about you or that was one of the best pieces of your personality or your business or your services, right? And that you are entirely missing if you're doing it by yourself.
You aren't getting anybody else's ideas and focus on your business because you're just solo doing it and you cannot give yourself ideas outside of your own perspective, okay? So, I'm gonna be talking more and more in the coming weeks about my new 90-day mastermind that is starting in March. This is for mid-level doulas. So if you're a brand spanking new doula, I have something coming for you as well, but this is not it because this is for doulas who've been douling for a little while, even like six months or a year, and are wanting to pivot something in their business. This is not for you got trained and you need some help with business stuff. Although I do have still the birth biz blueprint and I'm revamping a new business class, so keep your eyes open and your ears open for that coming in the springtime.
But in the meantime, listen for, I have a free class coming up that you're gonna hear about next week, and then I have the mastermind coming up in March. If you are not yet on my newsletter, why are you not on my newsletter? That's my question for you. But also, that's how you're gonna get information about these two things. Obviously, I'll share about it on the podcast, but if you listen to the podcast late, you might miss some opportunities. So if you have not yet jumped on the newsletter, please go do that. The link is in the show notes. You can also DM me on Instagram. At Harad doula is my Instagram handle, and I will happily send you the link to sign up for the newsletter, okay? All right, I will see you in the next episode.
Thanks for joining us for this episode of the doula tips and tits podcast. If you learned something today or had an aha moment, we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us at Harad doula, so we can celebrate alongside you. If you found this podcast helpful, we would so appreciate you taking a second to leave a rating and a review on your favorite podcast app. That helps other doulas find us as we do this work together.
This podcast is intended as educational and entertainment. It is not medical advice or business advice.
Please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around your health and your business. We'll see you again soon.
We cannot continue to be one-person-shows forever! Especially not as business owners and doulas! The reality is that we do so much of this work alone, but our lives and businesses do not run best by ourselves! Even if we’ve convinced ourselves that that is the case. Which it is not!
Quote from the show:
“Now I'm not entirely against you feeling like a badass right, like I think that you should feel like I am amazing at this job….I am a really good doula and I know that I show up in a way that some other doulas don't show up, however that doesn't mean I'm inherently better than those other people. So when I think about the idea “I worked hard to get to where I am” yes that's true, but also I had a ton of support to get to where I am. When we think about the idea of a solo entrepreneur we have to bring in the realization that somebody along the way has been a part of that process to some extent. This can be family members, it can be friends, it can be like free classes that you've taken online about marketing, it can even just be youtube, it can just be a platform that you're learning from, yes you sought out that knowledge, yes you took the time to learn it and implement it, but someone else created the resource for you to learn it and implement it. Someone else created the doula training for you to be trained and become a doula in the first place.”
CONNECT with Kaely on TikTok or Instagram
https://www.tiktok.com/@doulacoach
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Doula Tips and Tits is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
It is sponsored by The Doula Biz Blueprint Self-Paced Class for Doulas Launching Successful and Sustainable Businesses!
Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay
