How Do I Structure a Doula Consultation?
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Kaely Harrod 00:04
Welcome to doula Tips and Tits. This podcast is a place where we answer one question about doula work, both to support you and to help you support your clients. I'm Kaely Harrod. I've been supporting families in this perinatal space since my oldest was born 12 nearly 13 years ago. I am a birth and postpartum doula childbirth educator, lovely cheerleader and a doula coach. I love guiding and supporting doulas as they work out their doula business. It is a tremendous joy to be trusted in this way. Thank you for joining us on this journey. Welcome back to doula Tips and Tits. I am your host Kaely Harrod, and today we're jumping into the question, how do I structure a doula consultation? Now, again, I want to just highlight the fact that I am not the one that sets all the rules about these things, right. So what I'm sharing in this episode, is what I do and how I've kind of gotten to that place over the years. I also am going to give you a quick little synopsis of kind of, what are some things that people typically ask so that you're ready for those questions. Okay. Now, I want to start by just telling you a little story. So when I was a brand new doula, I used to do doula consultations and every single one was different, I did not know what to say how to say what to start with, etcetera, I was really nervous about it. And I wasn't sure if I should let them lead the conversation or if I should lead the conversation. And it was just all like, very awkward. And one kind of joke that I had with my, one of my dear friends, who also owns her own business, was that my goodbyes were always super awkward. And they're still a little bit awkward, but less so now, in part because I don't feel like I'm just saying, Okay, let me know, if you want to hire me, like, in a super awkward way. So this was also back prior to the pandemic. So these were usually consultations that were done in person, very rarely were they done over the phone or on a video call. And so we'd be in person, typically at a coffee shop, or sometimes at someone's house. And I, you know, we would talk and it would finish and then I'd be like, Okay, have a nice life. Like, I really just would not know what to say to folks to end like, I hope you hire me. Maybe I'll see you soon. Or like, Okay, bye. Like I really just struggled. And I remember leaving every doula consultation, just kind of cringing at like, why can I not leave a conversation like a normal person? Right? And it's funny, because folks that hired me in the early days thought it was hilarious, and they loved it. And I don't know, I should maybe go back and survey them. Like, how awkward was it for you when we first met? And I did my like, spiel, and then like, by now, but truly, I like did not know what to say. Right? So I say that to say that if you are currently starting out in this field of doula work, and you're like, Kaely, I've done a couple consultations, and I feel super awkward. Every time. That's okay. You are not alone. Also, if you have never been awkward in a consultation, hats off to you, man, because I, I do not know that life. I had many, many, many, many consultations, that I felt so incredibly awkward during them and after them. So what I used to do is kind of go into a consultation hoping that I would be able to answer all their questions in a way that made sense and that they like would want to hire me, right? So I had this sort of feeling of like, please hire me, like, please, please, please. You know, I'd really like some clients. And if you want to hire me, I would love to work with you. I don't really care. If you actually seem like a good fit. I just want clients right. And I will say that sort of desperation doesn't help the awkwardness if you if you lean towards awkwardness in your life. I'm feeling desperate and awkward is not a great combo. So now I will say one of the things about my consultations is that I feel very comfortable feeling like it's a conversation to get to know each other and that I don't have that same desperation for someone to hire me. Now I realized that that is a privilege in part because I have a really successful doula business at this point. And I am full, as full as I want to be every single month, right? So I realized that that is in part due to the fact that I've been doing this for many, many years. So I don't take that for granted. I'm not saying that should be the case for you right this minute if you're on your first couple months of doula consultations. So how I like to start the conversation now is by giving the floor over to the people that are interviewing me, the potential clients and saying to them, I love to start this conversation by hearing what made you decide to look for a doula? And I asked this for a couple of reasons. One is, I have found that over the years, when you ask that question, people essentially give you what they want to know about you and hear from you in their answer, which then just navigate or guides, I guess, the whole conversation after that, right. And so, so for my sake, it's really helpful to hear right away, why they're looking for a doula. The other thing is that I've mentioned before I get a lot of referrals. And so I really love to be able to thank people when they send me a client referral. So usually, in that initial question, someone will say, Oh, well, this person sent me your name, you came very highly recommended from them, or like they were your client, or they're another doula, and they recommended you or whatever. And that's sort of how we're then starting, which makes me also able to connect with them about that referral source at the very least, like I had one instance, where someone said, you know, oh, my midwife told me, You're amazing. And I was like, Oh, yes, I love your midwife, like, we were able to work together a couple months ago, and it was so great. And she's really lovely. And that's so sweet of her that she sent you my name, I'm gonna have to thank her, right. And so from the very beginning of that conversation, we sort of had a mutual friend, right, we have this connection through the person who referred them to me, and we already had that in the referral in the first place. But that also helps with the comfort and the the sort of initial
Kaely Harrod 07:33
flow and ease of the conversation during the consultation. So that's where I start. So I let them tell me, you know, why are they looking for a doula? What, what sort of are they? are they wanting? Right? From there, I really focus on whatever came up in that answer. Because sometimes people highlight some trauma. Sometimes people highlight a past birth that did not go well. Sometimes people highlight a past birth that they loved. But that doula is no longer available, or they don't live in that city anymore, or whatever. So you can kind of go from there. Like, I'm so glad that you had an amazing doula last time, right? Like, that's awesome. Or something like, I'm really sorry that that was your experience last time, that sounds super hard. People really need to be validated. And that's a good and normal thing to need. And I think the more we can do that in this work, the better in terms of trauma healing anyway. But also that's going to help with the doula consultation, because the person is going to feel seen and heard, because you are seeing and hearing them, and you're actually letting them know that that's the case. Okay. So then, from there, I usually say something like, I know, you've seen my website, because that's how we're on this call together. But would it be helpful for me to kind of just give you a little idea of how I got started in this work, and my philosophy around my work as a doula, most people are like, Absolutely, we would love that, that would be great. And so I go into my background, you know, how I got started in this, why I'm passionate about it, what my sort of lens is that I bring to this work, how I, how I do the support I do now, I don't go into package information here. I just talk about my philosophy, my philosophy, how I how I sort of angle my client support, if that makes sense. And then I, I give it back and give the floor back to the other person and say, I know that you probably have some questions for me and I'm happy to answer those. What questions can I answer for you? Now, this is the time where everybody differs, right? Some people have like 1000 questions. Some people are like you answered all of my questions and what you just said about yourself. Some people have I've looked through every package that's on your website, and they know all the details. And they have no clarifying questions at all right? And so it really depends on the person. Sometimes, a consultation is almost over at that point, because they're like, This is amazing. You're amazing. This has been super helpful. I already know all the details, I'll get back to you kind of thing, right? Oftentimes, people ask things like, Are you available for my due date? Do you work at do you go to the place I'm giving birth at? Or have you worked with the team that I'm that are my providers. Oftentimes, people ask things like, so Well, at this point, in the midst of the pandemic, some people ask about safety precautions that you take in your regular life. If they're really nervous about COVID, especially then, that's something that comes up sometimes. Some people ask about, like, your philosophy or experience around supporting something specific about their experience. So when I am doing postpartum care for a twin family, they might say, Tell me your you know, experience level, helping care help with helping caring for twins, I cannot can't say that whole sentence. Or maybe if they're doing a VBAC, they might say, you know, tell me about your experience with a trial of labor after a C section. Have you helped clients do that? You know, are you familiar with that? Like, what is your experience level? And so those are some of the questions that folks might ask you. Now, one thing that I really recommend, if you're super nervous about a doula consultation, is go online and just search questions. You should ask your doula. When you're hiring them, or questions you should ask at a doula interview or questions, you should ask her to do a consultation, something like that, you're gonna get a ton of lists, a ton of lists of questions that doulas get asked all the time. Now, what I think is great, is you can take those lists and write out answers for them. And then if you're like, okay, in the moment, I might be really super nervous, then you can go back to that and say, okay, they asked me that question. Here's my answer to that question. And I've already kind of thoughtfully answered it in a time when I wasn't feeling super nervous about it. And I wasn't in the middle of the conversation. Okay. So that's one way to prepare. Net, I have not personally experienced someone coming with that entire list. But like, if you you know, get a list of 15 questions. For instance, most people ask like five or six. But you can have the answers to all 15. Because why not? Right? And then if that gives you peace of mind, that's great. That's wonderful. One thing that lots of people want to know, is what happens next? Like, what is the next step? How soon do you need to know if they want to hire you? When do you expect them to sign a contract? Do you send a contract? Like, what does that look like? So this is my process. So oftentimes, towards the end of the conversation, someone will say to me, okay, you know, I know that you already told me you're pretty full for this month, like, How soon do we need to let you let you know, and I say to them, I always like to do, I always like to send you my contract as the next step. So I will email that to you right after we get off this call. And because I do all of my consultations virtual at this point, so there, you know, a video call. So I say, you know, I'm gonna send you my contract, right after we get off this call. Because sometimes, a contract actually prompts a question, right? And so if you read through the contract, you have any questions for me, you or your partner can send me an email and let me know and I'm happy to clarify anything. And then I'll say to them, especially only if this is true, because I I am really big about don't lie to people don't add false scarcity, right. But I'll sometimes say to folks, like, Hey, I only have one more spot in August. And so you're, you're really like, if you hire me, you're the last August person, which means I don't want you to lose the opportunity to have that spot if you really want it. So if someone else reaches out with a due date similar to yours, and they're wanting to do a consultation, I'll just give you a heads up, never to put any pressure on you to hire me or to speed your decision making. But because I want you to know that you're going to lose that spot. Right? And so that's how I handle that without creating false urgency without saying, you know, hey, you have to let me know in the next 24 hours because some folks know by the time they get off the call with you that they want to hire you and some people are planning to interview like three to five people, and they want to finish those interviews before they decide for certain and both of those things are fine. So I want you to use that kind of as a guide right? That's how I run my Doula consultations. I do the Okay, so let me go back to my really awkward endings that we started with. So I mentioned before that I did not know how to leave didn't know how to finish the conversation, right? One really helpful thing about sit ending the conversation by saying I'm going to send you something is that I can then say that as I'm getting off the call, so I say something like, okay, you know, look for that email for me. And then we can talk more about it soon. I was so nice to meet you today. Something like that, or like, enjoy the rest of your day, have an awesome weekend, I hope that you enjoy this beautiful weather. So it is still there is you know, just a baseline level of awkwardness in my goodbyes. That will just always be there. And that's okay. And also, I have a very clear thing to say to them. Because the next thing I want them to do is read the contract in the email. And so I'm not just like, I hope to hear from you soon, like, let me know if you like me, right? Like, it used to feel almost like I'm like, please ask me out on another date. You know, that kind of that kind of nervous energy. And now I'm just like, look for that email. Let me know if you have any questions about the contract, and then we'll go from there. And that's a very clear next step, which makes it so much easier for both me and them to know what to do next. Okay, so that is my that's my process, my practice of doing doula consultations. I would love to hear your questions around this. I am happy to dive into the nuances here. If that's helpful, if you have clarifying questions, etc. Head on over to Instagram connect with me there and give me those questions. Start a conversation with me I would be delighted to touch base with you and hear what was helpful, but also help you kind of clarify and you know, iron out some of the nuances here. So as always, I wish you lovely, wonderful consent filled birth and postpartum doula experiences. And I will see you on the next episode.
Kaely Harrod 17:23
Thanks for joining us for this episode of the doula Tips and Tips podcast. If you learned something today or had an aha moment, we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us at Herat doula, so we can celebrate alongside you. If you found this podcast helpful. We would so appreciate you taking a second to leave a rating and a review on your favorite podcast app that helps other doulas find us as we do this work together. This podcast is intended as educational and entertainment it is not medical advice or business advice. Please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around
I remember when I was super intimidated by Doula Consultations. I felt super awkward each time, unsure of what to say or how to engage in a meaningful way with prospective clients. I also always felt like I was selling myself rather than meeting this possible client to assess if we were a good fit for each other or not. Over time I shifted both my strategy and my mindset around these conversations which has made them significantly easier and more successful for me!
This episode really dives into how I approach Doula consultations now vs when I started and how I used to prepare for them when I was super nervous. If you haven’t done so before, I’d suggest starting with a quick google search of “questions to ask a doula before you hire them” or some such search so you can get a sense of what types of questions you MAY be asked. Then you can prepare in advance for those questions.
Each consultation is a bit different, but directing the conversation is going to make it feel more comfortable for both you and the client because they are the ones who don’t usually do this! They are coming with very little in way of expectation, so guide the conversation confidently and that will put you in the position of expert, because you ARE an expert!
Key Takeaways:
I start by asking “What made you decide to explore having a doula?”
Plan to give a general synopsis of how you got started and what your philosophy of birth is
Write out answers to common questions ahead of time so you have them as needed
Practice helps make this easier! Don’t be discouraged if your first few consultations feel very awkward
CONNECT with Kaely on TikTok or Instagram
https://www.tiktok.com/@doulacoach
https://www.instagram.com/Harroddoula/
This podcast is hosted by the Birth Prep Blueprint - comprehensive Childbirth Education for expectant parents to feel calm, prepared and confident about labor and birth. Podcast listeners (that’s YOU!) get 10% off! Use the link below and coupon code PODCAST
https://www.harroddoulaservices.com/birth-prep-blueprint
** The Birth Prep Blueprint is offered for only $20 to anyone who qualifies for any kind of social services (meaning that a family has a lower income to the point that they would qualify for WIC or SNAP or Medicaid, etc.). No need to disclose your income, just which service you qualify for and the link can be sent right over. Just email kaely@harroddoulaservices.com to learn more.
If you like this episode, don't forget to share it to your Instagram stories and tag me @harroddoula
Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class
Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay
