How Do I Know What I Don’t Know?

May 31

00:04
Welcome to Doula Tips and Tits. This podcast is a place where we answer one question about doula work, both to support you and to help you support your clients. I'm Kaely Harrod. I've been supporting families in this perinatal space since my oldest was born 12 nearly 13 years ago. I am a birth and postpartum doula childbirth educator, La Leche League Leader and a doula coach. I love guiding and supporting doulas as they work out their doula business, it is a tremendous joy to be trusted in this way. Thank you for joining us on this journey.
00:42
I want to tell you a little story about how my childbirth classes always go. So my students always we always start the class together by me asking them what questions do they start with? Like, what questions are you coming with to begin with, right? And almost always, one person in the class says, I don't know what questions I should have. And we all kind of laugh and say like, I know nothing, right. Like, I don't know what I don't know. And I would say that applies to us as doulas as well, when we're getting started.
01:17
So let me dive into that a little bit more for you. So
01:22
I know these episodes are questions. Right. So the question is, what do I not know that I need to know? And the answer is huge. It's too broad. Right? It's too broad of a question. But I think what I want you to start kind of thinking about is what sort of guidance do you need to implement the things that you want to do in your doula business? And let me explain kind of what I mean when I say that, but also,
01:53
I really want this to be an empowering episode and not an overwhelming episode. So I just want to start by saying, if this feels overwhelming, as you're going through it, please just turn it off. Go to one of the other episodes, play some fun music, dance your heart out, get your oxytocin up and move on. That's okay. All right. However, this is intended to be something to help you kind of start thinking about maybe what sort of guidance or assistance you might need now or in the future, as you kind of go through your doula, doula work. So the first is
02:40
a way to kind of troubleshoot and have real life answers.
02:46
As questions come up, okay. So one thing that I see oftentimes, at least this was my experience in doula training, and also I see this with the doulas that I coach is that there's a gap in what you're learning and how you apply that. And actually, I have an example of this from one of my childbirth classes. So I work at a center here in DC called the breastfeeding center. That is amazing. And I will be sharing more about it at some point in one of these episodes.
03:17
But I teach childbirth classes there. And
03:21
oftentimes, after my classes, I don't get to see the families again, because they're not necessarily my Doula clients, I don't necessarily hear from them. Sometimes they'll email me like, my, this is how my birth went, or something like that, which is lovely. But also,
03:38
sometimes I don't get that. I don't know if I've ever mentioned to you that we live near
03:43
a firehouse. And so you hear those ambulance sirens. That's what that is.
03:50
So, so I saw this family yesterday. And they asked me if we had covered pushing in class. And I was like, Yeah, of course, we did. Like we talked about it, you know? And they were like, oh, okay, yeah, it was just like we couldn't really remember. And we just remember learning so many things. And in the middle of the birth, we were sort of like, did we learn about pushing? Like, what do we know about pushing, maybe we don't know much about pushing. And it was interesting to me, because I was like, I know that I teach about pushing, right. I know, I know what I teach about pushing. I know what I say about it. I know how I teach about it. But I also know that learning about a topic that you really do not know much about.
04:35
And kind of a concentrated class, or even in like a six week period or a 12 week period is overwhelming in some ways. And in the moment of the real life experience. You have to have the presence of mind to be able to apply the things and the reality is that takes time, right? So this family for instance, if they ever decided to have another child, they would remember pushing back
05:00
because they've had real, real experience with it now and not just learning it in our class together, right? So that helps them. However, they're probably not going to have bunches and bunches of babies where they're learning more and more and more about pushing every single time they do it right. As a doula, however, you are getting some of that experience with time and with you just attending more births and having more clients and all of that. And so as a new doula, one of the things you need is more experienced doulas in your life to help you understand the scenarios that you have not yet seen firsthand. Or to help you process when you see things that you're like, What the heck was that? Because that happens, it's going to happen. So that's the first thing. One thing that you maybe don't know that you need is more experienced doulas in your life formally or informally in the form of coaching or mentoring or something. It is incredibly important that you have relationships with people that are farther along in this work, who are wanting to see you grow. Okay, and not all experienced doulas do want that sadly. But I will say there are many of us who do Okay, so it's not just me, it's not a small group. But there are some that do not readily want to share and help grow the kind of the next generation of doulas, if you will.
06:26
The other thing I think you need is some practical encouragement and advice. The reality is being a business owner, you need to be surrounded by some other business owners, and you need to be surrounded by people who understand this kind of work. When I was first starting out as a doula, I remember talking to some friends who, like had their own businesses or had done some consulting work. And they were like, my consulting work is not at all like your consulting work. I'm like, Yeah, I agree. And even one of my clients would joke and be like, This is not a normal contract job, like you have like hung out with us for 20 hours straight in this super vulnerable space. And we feel like you're like an auntie to our kid now, is not the same as when we hired a contractor to like, fix our roof, you know. And so it is a different kind of emotional work, but also it's business. And you just taught you just heard two episodes about all kinds of branding stuff, all kinds of copywriting stuff, business centered things, right. And there will be more of that coming on the podcast. But I want you to think about the fact that when you are a solopreneur when you are a business owner and working the details out of that, you need other people around you who who have done it or who are doing it, who can encourage you in the process so you can learn and grow together. One of the biggest things I have loved seeing in my Doula coaching is when one doula is at a place that another doula is not yet at, and they're able to answer a question that someone has. So I might say, Hey, how did that thing go? What did you put on your resume when you sent it into this person? How did you handle the picture release that you use? Can I have a copy of that, and the sharing between doulas is tremendous, because they all want to see each other succeed in this work. And it's a beautiful way to have this awesome support. Part of why I built it into my program specifically is that I do want the support to be more than just me I am not some kind of monopoly on all the things about doula coaching and, and growth right, you very much can learn from each other. And also I can learn from you and I love learning from you. And so it is something that I think is incredibly important and often neglected when we're thinking about putting this work into action. Okay, so that's all for today, you're gonna hear a little bit more about my Doula coaching program called the doula biz blueprint, because you have an opportunity to dive into it this summer, but the spaces are super limited. So I don't want you to lose your chance. If it's something that you're ready for and you
09:13
you're ready to dive in and I don't want you to be, you know, number 13 When only 12 folks can be in it. So
09:20
I will be telling you more about that. Stay tuned for that if you'd like some information or if you want to connect with me on Instagram, I would really really love it. If you went over at Herat doula, and shoot me a message and I would be happy to engage with you. Alright, until next time. Bye
09:42
thanks for joining us for this episode of the doula Tips and Tips podcast. If you learned something today or had an aha moment we'd love for you to share that on Instagram and tag us at Herat doula. So we can celebrate alongside you. If you found this podcast helpful. We would so appreciate you taking
10:00
Second to leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast app that helps other doulas find us as we do this work together. This podcast is intended as educational and entertainment it is not medical advice or business advice. Please consult your own medical or legal team for your own needs around

What do I need to know to be a doula? What might I be missing? What if there’s something crucial that I’ve never known and I find it out later?? These are hard questions, but normal questions! When we are coming to anything new we are faced with questions like theses that can be debilitating if we let them be!

So how do we bridge this gap and not just leave new doulas feeling swept away by the anxiety of what they don’t know? I want to propose two main ways in this episode: 1. Guidance from a coach or mentor and 2. Encouragement and accountability from other doulas.

Quote from the show:

“I want you to think about the fact that when you are a solopreneur when you are a business owner and working the details out of that, you need other people around you who who have done it or who are doing it, who can encourage you in the process so you can learn and grow together.”

Key Takeaways:

First, we need more experienced doulas to help guide newer doulas!
Second, you need some practical help and advice as you navigate through starting
How can you have more guidance and encouragement in your life today?

CONNECT with Kaely on TikTok or Instagram

https://www.tiktok.com/@doulacoach

https://www.instagram.com/Harroddoula/

If you like this episode, don't forget to share it to your Instagram stories and tag me @harroddoula

Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services

It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class

Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay