Doula Burnout: What Role does self care play in doula burnout?
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Kaely Harrod 0:01
Welcome back to episode two of what causes doula burnout. Today's question is how does self care play a role in doula? Welcome to doula Tips and Tips, the podcast where I answer one question about pregnancy postpartum, or lactation. This is a space where it's safe to have questions and we're gonna give you real answers. We're not going to beat around the bush or give you what we want you to know. We're going to answer in an evidence based way. I'm Kaylee Herat and experience doula mom of three lactation counselor and a childbirth educator. I started this work in part because of my own lack of answers in my journey of pregnancy and birth. And I'm on a mission for families to be well informed and well supported through this time. This is a space where you will learn about questions that you didn't even know that you should be asking and have answers to ones that you're already asking. The whole purpose here is for you to feel a bit more educated and informed and competent in this journey that often feels very new, and a little bit disconcerting. If you have not already I would love for you to subscribe to this podcast so that you get updates when there are new episodes. or head to our website Herat doula services.com to subscribe to our email updates so that you get notifications when we have a new episode Episodes Episode out. Thank you for joining us today. Welcome back, friends. So today's episode is the second of four talking about four prevalent aspects of doula burnout. Now, as a doula I am very passionate about this, because I have felt some of this burnout myself and worked through some of it. But I also know dear friends and colleagues who have felt this and it has ended their business now. I don't think that's always bad, right? Like in life, sometimes there are moments where we're like, you know, what, this isn't where I need to be anymore. And that's a beautiful and wonderful transition. Just like we support with our clients, right? This lovely kind of rebirth or new birth of a thing. That's okay. So there is absolutely freedom to to like kind of move and and grow and shift in this work and in life in general. However, if you're wanting to stay in this work, and you're not setting yourself up in a way that is sustainable, then the unwanted burnout or the the time when you feel a bit like like bitter about the work or resentful of how it looks for you, that is more what I'm talking about in this series. Okay. So the last episode was all about the number of hours that doulas sometimes work and how that can be a cause of burnout. If you haven't yet listened to that I'm linking it in the show notes, I want you to go back and listen to it. Because really, I think all four of these go together. Like they kind of overlap, right, they don't really stand apart. So today is all about self care. Which is a whole topic that we could dive into there's good, bad and ugly marketing around self care practices. I don't love as a mother myself, when I hear people talk about self care being like going alone to the grocery store. I'm like, No, going and pushing a cart around the grocery store and deciding what my family is going to eat for the week or like, figuring out our budget for groceries like absolutely not, that is not self care. I do not feel. I mean, it is easier to do by myself, right? But it doesn't mean that it falls into the category of caring for myself. So I am not talking about like logistically keeping yourself running, right? Like I don't mean cleaning your house and buying groceries. I mean, like how do you physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally support yourself between before and after seeing clients and doing this work? Now, there are layers to that, because some of this work can be quite hard can be quite heavy can be really traumatic, right? And so different experiences and doula work required different levels of kind of working that stuff through, right? So I want you to keep that in mind as you're thinking through it that I'm not necessarily saying every single doula client is going to require a certain amount of self care, but certainly that has to be into your routine as you're kind of going through this work. Okay. So some of the things that I think are really important to think about in this like in the self care sort of realm is the sustainability of your work in terms of sleep, and physical support. So think through like what does it look like to move your body? What does it look like to feel Will your body like to feed yourself? Right? What kinds of foods and movement rituals help after a birth? Does it help to do some stretching? Does it help to do some like, like sitting in a hot bath? Or going swimming? Or doing some yoga and pilates or something like that? Does it just look like lying around for a day so that your body can literally just rest? Does it look like kind of warm soup? Kind of like soothing comfort kind of fuel? Or does it look like oxytocin food, that's a big deal. For me, I love eating some of my favorite foods after birth. And for whatever reason, I crave potatoes like in in some form or another after every single birth. So especially middle of the night births when I leave at like 2am Fries are a big part of my post birth ritual. Because oftentimes, that's my only thing I can get at 2am. But I love like baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, fries, breakfast, potatoes, hash browns, like all of that kind of stuff. For whatever reason, I think I must like tank, my potassium levels or something. I don't know what it is. But potatoes after birth is my thing, right? And that's, that's okay. I've embraced that about myself at this point. So, so you want to think through what you need that to look like. It also can include things like reconnecting with your family, if you have a family, right? It can, it can be like reconnecting with your friends if you live alone, but you're like, I've been sort of out of my normal life. For the last like 15 hours as I supported this birth, and I need to connect with my people, right? It can look like having people that you process with either professionals like psychotherapist or counselors or healers in some way, or it can look like having some doulas to bounce frustrations off of, I have a handful of doulas that I will vent to and they vent to me. And we also are like, Oh my gosh, I had the most amazing experience. And this is part of why I love this work, right. And so that, that creates sustainability for both of us for both sides of that, because it allows for space to both like relieve pressure and frustration and those big emotions and also give space for excitement and joy that is met with kind of equal excitement and joy, right? I know many of us who have a partner do some of that with our partners, but very few partners share the level of excitement that we want them to share. And so I think it's kind of funny, the number of partners who I'm sure know more about birth and birth work than they really would otherwise want to know about. And like my darling husband does listen to me and kind of like humorous the fact that I want to vent about stuff. And he actually understands a lot more than he used to. But there are times where I'll be telling him something. And it's like clearly a crucial part of the story that I'm frustrated about that he's
Kaely Harrod 8:07
like, and that is totally not normal, right? And I'm like, No, it's not normal, you know, he's like, give me some context for how I should be feeling about this. Like, obviously, we're upset about that, right? Are we upset about that? You know, but when I'm talking to another birth worker, I can say like, oh my gosh, you know, this thing happened? And they can be like, oh, yeah, because they right away know the context of what I'm talking about, right. And so that's also really important, then you want to think about so that's kind of self care on like a almost like a defensive, right? Like, where does that defensive, offensive? Defensive, like a birth is happening? And then what do you do, right? But I also want you to think about building self care in kind of as a ritual, like as a part of your work. And I'll be honest, that I'm getting better about this. But it's something that I really have not done well, over the course of the years, like I haven't, I haven't built in this thought of like, okay, once a month, I'm gonna get a massage, right? I have done that. Like, I've gotten to the point of doing like more self care like that, like bodywork, kind of self care, I practice yoga, and I love that and I found practitioners that I really resonate with and who have a similar body to me and things that that matter to me that I value. And also, I need to do a better job of being like, how do I schedule this one once a month, right like so that I don't get two months or three months down the road and realize I haven't had one right? And so part of that looks like charging a fee. So going back again to the sustainability of what you charge, charging a fee that allows some of that to be built in. So if like a group exercise class or a meal out is a big part of your ritual or and even being able to go to like a spa or something like that, build that into your business cost, okay? Because that's part of how that is sustainable is that you're predicting that that cost is going to be there, you're establishing how that cost is going to come in and a percentage of the work that you do goes to funding that physical aspect of caring for your body in order for you to be able to continue to show up for your clients. Okay, so this is cause Number two there's two more causes Cummings in the next two episodes are going to dive into those. As a reminder I do have this awesome free masterclass three ways to create sustainability and success in your doula business because sustainability and success absolutely go hand in hand the same way that effacement and dilation go hand in hand in birth, right? They have to happen they both have to happen, they both have to happen together. And that is something that I see and feel is incredibly lacking in the field of doula work. So it's a free masterclass it is on March 7, at 12 noon, Eastern and I would absolutely love to have you there. I do have a limited number of spots. So make sure that you use the link in the in the show notes to register for it. And as always, until we speak again, I wish you well informed consent filled doula experiences. So all of this information is intended to be educational and entertainment. Please use it as such. And if you have questions about your own medical health, or need recommendations from your own provider, please do speak to them. This is not intended to replace them in any way. We are so happy that you are here joining us in this walk through pregnancy postpartum and lactation. Please take a second to like and subscribe, leave a positive review. That is how other families get to hear about us and get to learn from all the answers that we have here on this podcast. As always, I would really love to connect with you. I love answering questions. I know that you know that because you are here, but I would love to hear what your questions are. So if I have not yet answered them on the podcast, I would love to add them to the list of questions to be answered. please do reach out to me on Instagram or via email Kaely at Herat, doula services.com so that I can answer whatever question you have, and so that I can hear the feedback that you have about the podcast. Until we meet again, I wish you well informed consent filled birth and postpartum experiences
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
Doula Burnout has a variety of causes, but there are four that seem primary to me. Last episode dove into overworking or hours worked. This episode goes into Self Care or lack of self care and how that contributes to doula burnout.
Key Takeaways:
Self care looks a bit different for everyone, so you need to define it for yourself
Breaks and Rest are just as productive and important as work!
It is vital to have balance in life, but also in business!
Take some time to evaluate your self-care practices and see where you need to improve
Join us in the New Doula Masterclass Just for YOU! This masterclass goes into the 3 steps for both success AND sustainability in your doula business. Spots are limited so be sure to grab your free spot today!
https://www.harroddoulaservices.com/doula-mentoring-masterclass
CONNECT with Kaely on Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/Harroddoula/
This podcast is hosted by the Birth Prep Blueprint - comprehensive Childbirth Education for expectant parents to feel calm, prepared and confident about labor and birth. Podcast listeners (that’s YOU!) get 10% off! Use the link below and coupon code PODCAST
https://www.harroddoulaservices.com/birth-prep-blueprint
** The Birth Prep Blueprint is offered for only $20 to anyone who qualifies for any kind of social services (meaning that a family has a lower income to the point that they would qualify for WIC or SNAP or Medicaid, etc.). No need to disclose your income, just which service you qualify for and the link can be sent right over. Just email kaely@harroddoulaservices.com to learn more.
If you like this episode, don't forget to share it to your Instagram stories and tag me @harroddoula
Kaely Daily is produced by Kaely Harrod of Harrod Doula Services
It is sponsored by The Birth Prep Blueprint Childbirth Class
Music by Madirfan: Hidden Place on Pixabay
